Dennis the Menace

Don't be deceived by this cute little face. Yes, Joel is the sweetest most lovable little boy, always ready to give a kiss and a hug. But lurking under this sweet exterior is Dennis The Menace. I am going to attempt to list the things he has gotten into the last few days.

1. Melted my real butter and put into a mustard bottle. Squeezable butter is a good idea but we all know why that doesn't work.


2. Used half of my expensive, but very good Amway clothing spot remover to spray on his very stained shorts.


3. Started the washer sometime while messing with the spot remover


4. Made koolade with all the rest of my sugar....at least 2 cups


5. Got out my sewing machine and started running it


6. Got his Dad's drill.... not sure what he used it on.


7. Got out his sister's trumpet and valve oil


8. While catching him in my bathroom messing with something else, noticed he also smeared toothpaste all over the sink.


9. I discovered spilled edible printer ink on my office closet floor. It was tracked a few places on my newly refinished oak floors. It is red. I immediately get a visual of Joel's toes I had seen earlier with red stain in between two of them. I really didn't think about it at the time to question why his toes were red.....


10. Discovered chipped plaster by his brother's bed where Joel had jumped across from his bed and hit his knee into the wall.


11. Discovered he got into some shoe polish in the basement and smeared it around
12. He kept finding money in his room and asked to ride his bike to the store to spend it. I said yes. The first day he came home with a small bag with little 10 cent candy. Second day, 10 candy with a "free" candy bar. I thought this a little strange but the people at the store are friendly, its a small town and I didn't look at the candy bar.... assuming it was discontinued or something... plus he's a sweet, cute kid. Next day "found" some more money, came back with his little 10 cent candies plus two "free" candy bars. A humm..... now it has my attention. Confesses he stole one of the candy bars, but the one from the day before was free and one from today was free. Now my interrogation skills have improved living with a police officer and I finally got a confession that all 3 of the big candy bars were stolen. Carter, my loud and slightly obnoxious 11 year old was like whooaah, I've thought about it but would never do it. Needless to say, Officer Dad and Joel had a talk with the owner of the store.


13. And many other things, really, that he has gotten into with out permission the last several days.
    

Now, to his credit, for about a week, the kids' bathroom toilet has been clogged with a bar of soap. (I don't know who did it) I kept plunging it thinking the soap is lower down into the drain and should soften and eventually move all the way down. After his bedtime last night he informed me that he took a plastic grocery bag, put it over his hand and pulled the bar of soap out of the toilet. Impressive I think, forgiving him for getting out of bed and doing all this with out me knowing. He is mister fix it and has great talent, but.....

Any suggestions for not going insane or locking him up for life?